I Left my Wallet in El Segundo

(or, the web page formally known as Austin, Adam, and Home)

A certain Mr. Paul Czak submitted the best (and only) entry to my "Write the Final Chapter in Jik's Journey Contest."  He is the proud recipient of fame (being named on my site) and fortune (a case of beer to be named later).   So here follows the real story of what happened in Austin and Springfield.  (And by real, I mean completely false)


Hi. I'm Paul. You may remember me from other Jick narratives such as "The 
Eternal Struggle" the story of a man and his TI 99 4a and "Where the Hell Did 
You Get that Shirt" the story of the fish head shirt. Here is the latest 
installment in the Jick Narrative Series:


After a long drive from Arizona, Jick was in no mood to cruise the Austin 
streets, but Matt was up for a drive. Jick agreed as long as he didn't have 
to drive. "No problem," quipped Mat "I just got a new car and sucka's I know 
you gonna hate my 98 Oldsmobile so let's take the beater. " This  car may seem a hazy shade of criminal, but Jick didn't mind so off to  Big Tex's bar / gun shop / wedding chapel they headed. Now the cover charge at Big Tex's is three bucks on a Monday night, but Mat assured Jick that it  would be worth it. Jick went to get a couple bucks to par the bouncer when he  realized, "Oh shit, I left my wallet in El Segundo, I gotta get it , I got, got to get it."


Off it was to the beach in El Segundo where Jick had spent a sizzling week with an old "friend" Bentia Applebomb. After asking around, Jick learned that Benita and his wallet were no longer around. Apparently Benita had a breakdown after Jick had left for Austin and she had flown back into the arms of her old boyfriend Adam. "You're gonna get yours Adam," Jick shouted out into the night and him and Mat were off to Adam's. On the way to Adam's, Jick's constant ravings of how when he saw Adam he would shut him down began to wear on Mat, and when he could stand no more, they parted ways at the statue of the original gangster. Fearing what a crazed Jick might do, when Mat returned home he sent a letter to the New York Post stating that he was no longer associated with the raving Jick.

        

 The chase after Adam was long and difficult and at one point involved a 
water chase scene inspired by a Mariah Carey video, but finally Jick ran Adam down and found him at his home in the process of getting his morning paper. "Where is she!" screamed Jick. "Where is Benita Applebomb?" Adam was in tears and babbling as he tried to explain himself, "Gone . . . its all gone . . . ", was all a distraught Adam could mumble. "She stole it. She stole the soul."

                      

"Who stole the soul?", demanded Jick. 


"Benita," bellowed Adam. "She came in here and just used me for my manhood. 
Look at my apartment." Adam's heartbreak was louder than a bomb and as he recounted his last few days with Benita, Jick understood. No man could resist Benita and all was quickly forgiven between Jick and Adam.  


"Where is she now? " asked Jick.


"She was talking about how to kill a radio consultant when she left. I think 
she was headed toward Arizona."


"Arizona! I'll never be able to stop her by the time I get to Arizona! 
Damn, I really liked that wallet too. I can replace the credit cards, but 
where am I gonna get another Dr. Who fan club card from? Well, I guess its 
time to hit the road Jack." 


Finally, a young Jick returned to his pad , a little wiser in the ways of women. As he entered his apartment he swore he was through with Benita forever. He entered his apartment, counted to make sure all his laserdiscs were still there and turned on the TV. The Fox news was on and the lead story was the murder of a prominent radio consultant in Arizona. "More news at 11, " was all Walter Jacobsen could say.


***** all song titles appear courtesy of Public Enemy and A Tribe Called 
Quest ******